(Also known as The Gospel of Johnny)

• Beans and greens are for birdies and bunnies.
• Seeds belong in a garden, not in your mouth.
• Raw fish is bait, not food.
• There are three popular artificial sweeteners. A known carcinogen, an appetite stimulant and one that causes kidney damage. Do yourself favor, stick to sugar or do without.
• A prune is what happens when you suck everything good out of a plum.
• It can be turkey, or it can be bacon.  It can never be both.
• “Deep Fried” is a food group.
• Chicken Fingers & Fries is America’s answer to Fish & Chips.
• Pizza is a vegetable. It would literally take an act of Congress to disprove that.
• Tofu should only be considered a food source by third world nations incapable of acquiring real food.
• If what you are eating is not a specific part of an animal, it’s probably not good for you.
• Milk is for babies. Cheese is for adults.
• What burns going in,burns coming out.
• Bovine flatulence is a major contributor to the Green House Gas Effect.  Save the planet, eat more cows.
• Onion is a condiment.
• Spinach is a garnish.
• “Bacon makes it better”.